A Kenshin Christmas Carol
by oronoda
Summary: Shinomori Aoshi gets visited by the ghosts of christmas in this Christmas Carol ripoff
1. Default Chapter

A Kenshin Christmas Carol  
  
Note: Don't take this fic seriously! I know they don't celebrate Christmas but the idea came up and I couldn't resist. Apologies to Dickens and the guy who wrote Kenshin and Dr. Seuss (for the random Grinch comment) and the character Aoshi (he is one of my favorites).  
  
Chapter One: Beshimi, Hyottoko, Shikikai, and Hannya   
  
Beshimi, Hyottoko, Shikikai, and Hannya were dead to begin with. Dead as a doornail. They used to be part of a group known as the Oniwaban before they bit the big one. Their leader was a skinflint known as Aoshi Shinomori. The five of them used to be unstoppable, unstoppable until the gratling gun was invented. Aoshi's four friends were beaten and killed. Since then, Aoshi went a little obsessive of beating the Hitokiri Battousai, also known as Kenshin Himura. Well, he was obsessive before, but at least his buddies took his mind off it.  
  
It was the night before Christmas and Aoshi was brewing a plan that would beat the Battousai once and for all. He decided to copy the Battousai in everyway imaginable. He got a sakabatou, had the whole Hiten Mitserugi style written down on graphs, started to say "oro" and "de gozaru", and even got a red wig so he could look the part.  
  
At last he made it over to the Kamiya Dojo where Kenshin, Sanosuke, Yahiko, Kaoru, and Megumi were out in the snow singing Christmas Carols. When they saw Aoshi approach, they all stopped singing except for Yahiko who got an elbow in the gut by his teacher.   
  
"Himura Battousai, I have a proposition for you!" Aoshi declared. Megumi and Sanosuke glared at him.   
  
Kenshin smiled cheerfully, "Merry Christmas, Aoshi-san! What proposition?"  
  
Aoshi would have sneered if he could show any emotion. "Bah humbug! Christmas! What a waste!"  
  
Kenshin nodded his head, "Gomen nasai. I did not mean for my wishing you a Merry Christmas would be taken offense..."  
  
Yahiko yelled, "Christmas is the best time of year!"  
  
Aoshi looked at Yahiko, "Because you get presents. Another excuse to indulge in material pleasures."  
  
Sanosuke rolled his eyes impatiently, "What do you want?"  
  
Aoshi said, "Oh yes! Of course this pointless conversation about Christmas has lead me off track. Tomorrow Battousai, I will come over and slay you and become the best for real!"  
  
Kenshin looked up wide-eyed. "Oro? Tomorrow?"  
  
"Hai, tomorrow."  
  
Kenshin replied, "But tomorrow is Christmas! A time to spend time with family and loved ones!!"  
  
"To dance and sing and get drunk!" Sanosuke mused.  
  
Aoshi sneered his invisible sneer, "Bah Humbug! Anyone who wastes their time for Christmas should be slain."  
  
Kaoru snapped, "That's not very Christmasy!"  
  
"No I guess not," Aoshi replied dryly. "But what will you do about that racoon girl? Want me to cut you a christmas tree?"   
  
Aoshi turned to leave. But before he did, he unsheathed his kodachi and sliced it through a tree. The tree landed on top of Sanosuke who screamed in agony.  
  
"Someone get me a doctor!!! IT HURTS!! AHHHHH"  
  
Megumi sighed, "I'm right here, dummy."  
  
Aoshi ignored this conversation and retreated to his cheap house on the bad side of town.   
  
"Tomorrow will be so easy," He thought. "Christmas is a weakness, Battousai, and I will use it on you!" 


	2. Chapter 2: Hannya comes for a visit

A Kenshin Christmas Carol  
  
Chapter Two: Hannya comes for a visit  
  
Note: I own nothing sadly. I am trying to get the rest of this story up by Christmas and since I don't have to worry about finals, I do have time :)  
  
Aoshi made it back to his house at the edge of the city. He was disgusted that everywhere he looked, people were celebrating Christmas. "Why do these people waste their lives?" he wondered. "Especially when there are more important things to do."  
  
He entered his place taking off his top hat and trench coat and places them on the hooks. However, they were not hooks when he placed them. The hooks looked like human hands that were attached to arms that possessed stripes up and down. Aoshi didn't notice this at first. When it hit him and he looked back, it was just as it aways was, a series of hooks.  
  
Not really caring or appearing that he didn't care, Aoshi prepared himself some food. He placed himself in front of a candel and ate his ramen nothing really out of the ordinary happening. Exhausted, he turned in for the night.   
  
Aoshi slept on pretty well until he was awakened by a familiar voice, "Captain...CAPTAIN!"  
  
"Nani?" Aoshi mumbled as he stirred awake. He opened one eye and was startled awake by a frightening sight. "OBAKE!....oh wait...its you, Hannya...but wait you are dead."  
  
Hannya sweatdropped, even if it was at his beloved captain, "I still am dead."  
  
Aoshi nodded, "So what are you a ghost or a dream?"  
  
Hannya replied, "Ghost, captain. I am here to tell you to stop with your recent way of living..."  
  
Aoshi blinked, "What do you mean?"  
  
Hannya sighed, "Well there is the issue of hating Christmas..."  
  
"Bah! I'll hate what I want!"  
  
"And you are also loosing your honorable way of fighting..."  
  
Aoshi was insulted, "Who are you to tell if I am being honorable or not!? I taught you honor!"  
  
Hannya would have grinned if he could, "Well, we'll see. Tonight you will be visited by three spirits."  
  
Aoshi made a sound of disgust. "They can take a number...I need to get my rest."  
  
Hannya shrugged, "They will make you listen to them...they are the type to do so..." He smiled inwardly, or it could have been the mask. He started to fade away. "When its midnight the first will come."  
  
Aoshi would have answered but he already started to fall asleep. He wasn't much for superstition and thought this was all some dream. Soon Hannya was gone and Aoshi was having dreams of tactics and killing Kenshin. 


End file.
